When you try your best but you don’t succeed When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse
My life was stuck in reverse for the past few years. Those lyrics are from “Fix you” by Coldplay, it’s pretty much dead on explains how I feel about my life that I wasted away.
I denied myself the enjoyment of a life because I was so depressed and withdrawn. It took me to hit rock bottom to realize what I was missing and let my early opportunities fade away. Almost lose the person I love dearly leave that has been at my side.
Last three years I was just not caring about anyone not even myself, I drank every night and just wasted my days doing nothing. This hurt everyone that surrounded me; it also hurt me mentally and physically.
Seven months ago I finally broke down and decided to live my life for me as this is a gift and I should respect it! Not just by living it but by making some type of dedication to the people who have given me this gift. I owe it to myself and everyone I love.
I have stopped drinking in the meantime, not sure If I will ever drink again. It has been a slight battle for me with this addiction I had have. I won’t drink till I know I have the willpower to not get it out of control. I feel I am not there yet and I am in no rush.
I have a great job that I have been at for four months now. It’s exactly what I have been wanting to do and I feel like I finally belong somewhere with people that are on the same level as I am. Personally I don’t feel like I am successful yet but it’s something I am working on, I know I am on the right path and I just have to keep up with it.
Denise and I have moved out of my grandparents house and we finally have a place of our own. We are flipping the page onto a new chapter in our life. The last chapter was a long and emotional one. I am happy to be on this new chapter with her. We’ve been pushing to get the new place fixed up and in order so we can have family and friends over. We want to share our life and home with everyone we love
So friends and family, I want to sincerely apologize if in anyway I have hurt you or offended you with my lack of communication or attitude I have had in the past 3 years. I am working on bettering myself and working on my communication.
I am going to leave you with this quote:
“Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment, are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment. There is a hidden meaning behind all events, and this hidden meaning is serving your own evolution.” – Deepak Chopra
Please keep in contact, I know I will do my best.
Love you all!